One Life To Live: Split Reflections

Life moves pretty fast

Things are really happening for Nash and the winery. Nash and Sarah are off to Napa and he's meeting with big investors ... I'm so proud of Nash for going after his dream, even more proud that he's determined to do this on his own. I know it's not easy being a part of the Buchanan's, even through marriage. But a part of me fears Nash may be in over his head. I don't mean that he's not capable, but things seem to be falling into place awfully fast. Then again, that's life, right? While looking at old photos of Bree yesterday, I realized how much she's grown in the short time she's been alive and how fast these years have flown. Mortality hit me again when I saw an old sketch of myself in Cristian's art studio. God, we were young! Cris says I haven't changed, but he's wrong. I'm light years away from that girl in the sketches. That girl was full of hope and wishes, but she was also scared and unsure. I wish I could tell that girl that it all ends up fine, that life is an adventure--both the good and the bad. I wish I could tell her about Nash and Bree and how happy they make me. I know I shouldn't worry about Nash, but I can't help it.  

Catching up with Mom

It was so good to get some one on one time with Mom today. She looks so happy and dare I say, in love? Or at the very least, in some very deep "like." Charlie seems like a good guy. I'm so glad he and Rex are bonding. 

I told Mom today that I was a little concerned about Nash ... not that he's in over his head, and I'm so proud of him, but everything seems to be moving really fast with the vineyard. And now he's going to Napa with Sarah. I don't mind, but it just seems so sudden ... Still, I don't want to get in the way of Nash's dreams. I just can't help but to worry.

Something fishy

March 13, 2008

I met Nash at the Palace Bar today and told him about visiting Antonio. He totally gave me the get out of jail free card for my guilt with Antonio. He's such a sweetie. But I'm sort of weirded out over his new investors. He's so excited and keeps talking about them, but something just seems off. I mean, Nash doesn't really know a lot about them--or at least he hasn't shared much with me. I don't know, it's just this feeling I get. Grandpa always told me to listen to my gut and it's telling me trouble could be coming.

What could have been

March 12, 2008

I saw Antonio today. Actually, I went over to his apartment. I had to say something after hearing about how he lost the Santi fortune. I admit, I felt guilty. I couldn't--still can't--get it out of my head that I was the one that told Antonio to take that money. He told me it wasn't my fault, and I appreciated it. But part of me still feels bad.

It was great to see Jamie. I haven't seen her forever. It was bittersweet, seeing Antonio. Things between us ended so badly that I was expecting the worse. But he was very cool. Being back in the apartment, seeing the couch, the table, all the furniture, it was weird. It made me sad. Do you ever have those moments where you imagine what could have been? I always think of the movie Sliding Doors. What if I stayed with Antonio? What if I never met Nash?  I love my life and I love my family, but part of me wonders.

Old Friends?!!?

March 11, 2008

Dorian told Charlie that she and Mom were old friends? WHAT? Charlie's new to town, so of course he didn't know any differently, but that took guts for Dorian to spin that one. I told Charlie the truth and gave him a little Dorian-Viki 101. I don't want to get involved, but if Dorian's trying to do something to Mom, I'm not keeping my mouth shut. Charlie left to go find Dorian and he looked ticked.

I feel terrible for Antonio. Cristian came over today because I wanted to talk to him about designing the labels for Nash's new wine. He thought it was a pity job and told me about the government freezing all of Antonio's assets. I couldn't believe it. Antonio has nothing now. I feel terrible. I was the one that urged him to take that money. I was the one that told him he could use it for good--to help Jamie, Carlotta, Angel Square. Now it's all gone and I know Antonio is hurting. I want to do something. I just don't know what.

That was close

March 3, 2008

When Nash came out of Allison's room and told me she had opened her eyes, I just about lost it. Michael and some nurses went rushing into the room, all these machines were going off--it seemed like she was waking up and I was heading to jail. But it was just an involuntary response. Allison's still in her coma and I'm still a free woman.

Jared never ceases to amaze me. Nash told me that he and Jared intercepted two sketches the police were faxing to Antonio and John of the people that broke Allison out of St. Ann's. Get this--Jared altered the sketches so Natalie and I could never be busted! My wonderful husband helped, of course, but knowing that Jared did this is just shocking. He's really not such a bad guy after all. Wow, I can't believe I actually wrote that about Jared Banks.

Interrogation

February 29, 2008

Antonio grilled me on whether I helped Allison escape. Talk about awkward. Every time I look at him I feel guilty for what happened between us. What I did to him. I love Nash and I stand by what I did, but I know how it hurt Antonio. Now he’s possibly going to send me to prison.

But I think I’m in the clear. I pleaded my innocence, swore up and down I had nothing to do with Allison’s escape. As long as she stays in that coma, Natalie and I are fine. I just pray she never opens her eyes.

Poor Natalie

February 28, 2008

Nash can be such a jerk sometimes! He wants Jared to sell over his majority share of the vineyard and the two got into it. Nash had the gall to call Jared a “bastard just like his father.” I told Nash I won’t stand for my grandfather to be spoken of that way. NOT cool. Jared is part of this family too---I can’t believe I’m saying this—but he saved my life. If that’s not a Buchanan move, I don’t know what is.

I know Nash is anxious about this new business deal. But sometimes he really needs to chill out.

Things quickly went from bad to worse. Antonio and John are asking questions about Allison’s escape. Antonio asked me point blank if I helped Allison escape. I’m kind of freaking out.

The luckiest woman in the world.

February 26, 2008

Allison’s in a coma. She may never wake up. So much for the secret. You know what, though? I don’t care. I have Nash. I have Bree. I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Allison can take her crazy talk and blather on about secrets. I’m not listening. I’ve got my family and that’s all that matters.

I still can’t get over what Jared did. He saved me. After all the animosity and anger over the last few months, and he risked his life for me. Maybe he really is my uncle.

Dad just called me. Something going down at BE so I have to rush over there right away.

It's over?

February 21, 2008

I don't know if I have ever been so scared if my life. I tracked Allison down to the Palace and followed her to a hotel balcony--and the crazy witch pulled a gun on me. She was going to shoot me. I know she was. Everything flashed before my eyes--Nash, Bree, Mom, Dad, Natalie.  I thought I was going to die. Then, out of nowhere, Jared appeared. He actually stood between the gun and me. I couldn't believe it. He was like a superhero or something. Everything after that happened so quickly. Allison fired the gun, Jared was hit and then the two went over the balcony. Jared was holding onto the railing with one hand, and Allison with the other. Allison kept saying that if she dies, the secret about my family dies with her. Then she let go.

Jared is going to be okay, but I can't say the same about Allison. She's in critical condition. I don't know if I'll ever find out the secret. All I can think about is how happy I am to be alive.